Side effect of Hero Panti - Filmy Jokes

HeroPanti Dekhne Ke Side Effects"
Maa- Ek Kaam Karega?
Me- Thoda Rest Kar Lun, Phir Karunga..
Maa- Accha Ab Bas Kar Apni Heropanti
Me- Kya Karun Maa, Sabko Aati Nahi Aur Meri Jaati Nahi..
*SLAPPED+HOMELESS*

Voldemort hein kya??

Girl 1 : hey I got engaged..
Girl 2 : wow congratulations!
naam kya hai unka?

Girl 1 : main inka naam nahi leti..
Girl 2 : Voldemort hai kya?

The Internet Family

A man from UP is introducing his family:

1. Ee hai hamaar biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!!

2. Ee hai hamaar bitwa.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!!

3. Ee hai hamaar bitiya .... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko folow karti hai...!!!

4. Ee hai hamaar ammaji.. Whatsapp mata- pura din bud bud karti rehti hai..!

5. Aur hum, Orkut Kumar... Hamka koi puchhta hi nahi...!!!

Jara Maachis Dena - Pappu Jokes

Ek baar Pappu dukan ja ke
dukandar se kaha:"
jara machhis dena...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Dukandar ne lighter utha ke
diya..
.
.
Pappu gussey mein dukandar ko
ek jor ka
thapad lagaya aur bola:
.
.
.
.
''Pagal saaley, lighter se
koi kaan khujata hai

Babaji ka thullu - Valentine's Day Special

Rose day :
Phool nahi mile..

Propose day :
Ladki nahi mili..

Chocolate day :
chocolate costly the..

Promise day :
Jab Govt. nahi kar sakti to hum kya kare??

Teddy day :
Jab chocolate kharid nahi sakte to Teddy kahan se kharide??

Kiss day :
Jab ladki nahi mili to kiss kissey kare??

Hug day :
Bas tanhai se hi hug karte rah gaye!!

Valentine's day :
Jab upar ke sare din aise gaye to iss din kya milega ??

- Babaji ka Thullu!!

Propose Day Special : Confidence toh dekh

"Bandar ne kiya sherni ko propose" gift me diya usne red rose
sherni ne kaha apni surat Aaine me dekh
Bandar bola Surat pe mat ja PAGLI
"Confidence to dekh"

Haryanvi to Telecom Customer Care - Haryanvi Jokes

Haryanvi calls customer care: maari bhains ne maara sim kha lia or bhag gi.
Cus.Care:To mai kya karu?
Hryanvi:Re tu manne yu bata ki roaming to na laagri

Machchar ka Dahej

Machchar Ne Ek Aadmi Ko Din Me Kata...
.
Aadmi:" Ab Din Mein Bhi ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Machchar:" Kya Karu bhai,
Ghar Mein Maa- Baap Bimar Hai...

Behen Jawan Hai Aur Ladke Walo
Ne 1 Ltr Khoon Dahej Mein Manga Hai..

BBM story

BB Users:
"BBM is such an outdated app for us"

iPhone & Android users:
"BBM rocks"

Nokia smartphone users :
Angry Birds is really good game.

Poor Jokes #1

1. If you are a girl named Khushi and you cry, people won't take it seriously as that would be 'Khushi ke aansoo'

2. If Sridevi is running a shop, I wonder whether she would say "Abhi Boney ka time hai.."

3. I love it when my Sony smart phone hangs and gives me Problems.
....
Because,
Sony de Nakhre sohne lagde menu.

4. Cricket team k jab sab player out ho jate h toh sab machaar bhaag jate hain

Sochoo

KYUKI team "allout" hain naa.

kitni roti bnaegi

Ek Aurat ek ghante mai 40 roti bana sakti hai to 3 auratain mil k ek
ghante mai kitni rotian bana lengi?
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
,
Ans:
Ek bhi nahi.
Sirf batain banayen gi

Girlfriend on Kaun banega crorepati

On the set of KBC...

A guy got stuck on a Rs. 1 crore question.

He uses phone-a-friend,
and
chooses his girlfriend to ask the answer.

Amitabh : Hey, you've got 30 seconds
to answer and your time starts now!

Boy reads out the question and the 4 options.

Teri Khamoshi ki wajah

Teri khamoshi aur
udasi ki wajah hum samajh na
sake
ae dost,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne
bataya
Ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui
hai!!.

Types of Mummy

Aalsi Mummy
"EK baat tumhe kitni bar batani padhti hai?"

Dhamkane Waali Mummy
"Aane do papa ko, tumhari shikayat karungi."

Itihaas Pasand Mummy
"Jab main tumhari umar ki thi to ghar ki sari jimmedari sambhalti thi."

Bhavishya Batane waali Mummy
"Mujhe pata tha,Yeh tute ga."

Confused Mummy
"Mein Insaan hun ya Machine?"

Selfish Mummy
"Lunch me parantha tumhare liye diya tha ya tumhare doston ke liye?"

Shakki Mummy
"10 me se 10... Jarur tum ne cheating ki hogi."

Meri Mummy
"Is Whatsapp ko toh aag laga deni chahiye."

Marne ke 3 Tarike..

Marne Ke 3 Tarike..!!

1. Roj cigret piyo 30 Saal Me Maroge,,
2. Roj Drink karo 15 Saal Me Maroge,, 
3. Kisi Se Saccha Pyar Karo Jite Ji Mar jaoge,,Its Realy True....

Do baate humesha yaad rakhe

Do baatein hamesha yaad rakhna:

Har insaan itna bura nahin hota jitna
'pan-card' aur 'aadhar card' mein dikhta hai...

Aur itna accha bhi nahin hota jitna
'facebook' aur 'whatsapp' par dikhta hai.

Bhagwaan ne kaha Dosti Chhod de

Bhagwan ne mujse kaha ki
Tu apna 1 pyara dost chhod de
main tujhe "mobile" dunga..

2 ko chhod de to "Rolex" ki ghadi
dunga..

5 ko chhod de "25 lakh Rupaiya"
dunga..
Aur
Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to
"Ferrari" dunga..

Mene Bhagwan ko dekha aur
kaha ki,
He Bhagwan..!!!

Ye dost wo he jinhone meri har
khushi har gam me sath diya..

Mere bachpan se lekar aaj tak
mere sath rahe..

Kabhi main roya to apne hatho se
mere ansu pochhe..

Ek glass pani bhi piya to bhi mere
sath share kiya..

Meri ek awaz par daude chale
aye..

Aur aap kehte ho ki me ek
"FERRARI" k liye inhe chhod
du????

KHAIR..
Koi baat nahi

Lekin
"FERRARI" Red hi dena..

Tumhare pass kya hein??

Mere pass Facebook hai,
BBM Hai, Twitter hai,
WhatsApp hai
.
.
.
tumhare pas kya hai..? .
.
Smart ans: Mere paas
"Aur bhi kaam hain".

Ramadan Mubarak

Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends who happen to be lost in a desert.

After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is Mohamed, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"

Steve said: "No, I'm sticking with my name."

They walked into the Mosque and the Sheikh saw them.

The Sheikh asked: "What are your names?"

Bob said: "My name is Mohamed."

Steve said: "My name is Steve."

Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring some food and water for Steve. And you Mohamed, Ramadan Mubarak!!

Kanjus Pappu Joke #5

Pappu: Yeh banana kaise diya?

Shopkeeper: 1Rs.

Pappu : 60 Paisa ka deta hai?

S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chhilka milega.

Pappu : Le 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela de de.